Hey there —

Drink more water.
Eat more fruits and vegetables.
Spend less time on social media.
Save more money.

You know, all the things we want to do. The stuff we know is good for us.

So why is it so 🤬 hard to actually do it?

And most importantly, how do we make the changes we know we need?

Let’s start with why we find change so difficult. (And no, it’s not because we’re weak, dumb, or shortsighted.)

It’s largely because our brains are wired to conserve energy, seek out pleasure, and avoid discomfort. 🧠

This is why good habits are so beneficial — they’re like energy-saving shortcuts in our brain that allow us to do things unconsciously, on autopilot.

But it’s also a big reason why building good habits (or breaking bad ones) is so difficult.

Change is uncomfortable. And having to make a conscious decision to do (or not do) something takes energy.

As psychologist Dr. Roy Baumeister explains it, “Self-control is like a muscle. Once you’ve exerted some self-control, like a muscle it gets tired.”

So after successfully resisting the lure of a $6 latte to start our morning, by the end of a stressful day at work, when we’re faced with the choice between those steep food-delivery fees or exerting the effort needed to make a meal from what’s in our fridge — DoorDash wins. 🍔 

Now, as for the how behind changing our behavior…

The things we often start out with — knowledge, determination, and the power of positive thinking — are all helpful, but they aren’t enough when met with real-world roadblocks.

This is where Mental Contrasting with Implementation Intentions (or MCII) can help.

MCII is a fancy scientific term for balancing positivity with reality and then creating a plan to overcome potential obstacles.

Backed by decades of scientific research, author and professor of psychology Gabriele Oettingen has created a system (with the super fun acronym WOOP) that turns MCII into a repeatable process.

Here’s how WOOP works. (Oettingen advises finding a quiet space and embracing slowness for this practice — which we’re all for! 🦥)

Step #1: Wish. What is your most important wish? Something attainable, but challenging. Summarize it in a few words.

(ex. To cut back on frivolous spending.)

Step #2: Outcome. What would be the best outcome of fulfilling this wish? What benefit will you experience? Summarize it in a few words and then imagine this outcome.

(ex. I’d have more financial stability and the ability to spend money on experiences that would actually add value to my life.)

Step #3: Obstacle. What inner obstacle stops you from tackling this wish and experiencing this outcome? This could be a feeling, misbelief, or bad habit. Again, summarize it in a few words and imagine this obstacle occurring.

(ex. My desire to cope with stress through spending.)

Step #4: Plan. What is an effective action you can take, or thought you can think, to overcome this obstacle if it appears? Fill in the blanks and imagine: If (obstacle), then I will (action).

(ex. When I feel the desire to cope with stress through spending, I will perform a meditation practice instead and remind myself that meeting my savings goal will be way more fulfilling than buying those shoes.)

Envisioning your hoped-for future and its benefits provides motivation to take action (plus a promise of pleasure for your brain).

And planning ahead for the obstacles you’ll encounter makes taking that action easier (no more wasting energy trying to figure out how to deal with discomfort in the moment).

All of which increases your odds of success — helping you bridge the gap between knowing what’s good for you…and actually doing it. 💫

Why is behavior change so hard?  

by Megan Call

Since we’re talking about the difficulties of behavior change, we’d be remiss if we didn’t also mention one very important factor: the discouragement of relapsing into old habits.

In this quick read, Megan Hall (psychologist and Director of the University of Utah Health’s Resiliency Center) shares that relapse is an expected part of the Six Stages of Change — and that it’s helpful to treat it as “a learning opportunity within a grand experiment.“

Check out the article for more on the Six Stages of Change and the three questions you can ask yourself to build a strategy for getting back on track after a setback.

Read the article →

Help! I have too many ideas!

by @theheart_ofart

Do you suffer from “shiny object syndrome”? Got so many ideas, passions, and projects that you’re completely frozen when it comes to actually creating something? 😵‍💫

Here are 4 quick and easy tips to help you develop your focus and follow through. Our fav: prioritize your ideas by doability and importance.

Watch the video for more →

Pocket  

by Mozilla

Anyone else guilty of having a half-dozen open tabs of interesting articles and other internet tidbits you’re saving for later? 🙋 

With the Pocket app or website and their “save button for the internet” you can tuck all those links away into your own little curated library.

Then, when you’re ready to indulge your curiosity, read your saved content on their original websites or inside the distraction-free Pocket reader that removes ads and even allows you to highlight your favorite bits.

(And with Pocket’s curated recommendations, you might even find some more fascinating gems — like this story about the woman responsible for the world’s largest restaurant menu collection at the New York Public Library!)

Try it out →

Meet Sarah! She’s bringing relaxed vibes and a slow growth mindset to your local skatepark. If you’ve ever wanted to learn how to do a kickflip, Sarah’s got a tutorial for that (and many more skateboarding tricks, tips, and motivational moments) over on her YouTube channel. 🛹

Introduce yourself! Who are you?

My name is Sarah. As an administrator by day, skater by lunch, and language learner by night, I can fill a to-do list in the blink of an eye. Long story short, I tried to realize my childhood dream of learning to skateboard as an adult, and I ended up with a passion that has commandeered all of my free time.

Why do you create? Who is your content for?

I create mostly because learning how to skate is hard. As a beginner skater, I noticed large gaps in educational content — specifically videos that suited my learning style or aimed at adults. I’d learn a trick and think to myself “I wish someone had told me that.” And thus, I made the terrifying choice to use those moments to create the content I wish had existed when I started. So, you could say that my content is for any skater who finds themselves in the position of my past self. The content has changed a bit, but it is mostly for beginners looking to learn tricks faster, get exposure to tricks they might not have known existed, and feel motivated to keep pushing.

The biggest lesson you’ve learned since you began creating content?

I learned that my audience doesn’t only want tutorials. Because I started the channel to help others learn to skate, I fell into the idea that that’s all the audience would want to see, which I was okay with. But after running out of tricks I could teach quite quickly, I had no choice but to experiment with other ideas. And I quickly found that videos besides tutorials also received a lot of meaningful engagement and were well received. So, my channel quickly fell into a motivational sub-niche, and I ended up making what I can only describe as skate essays. While the skate essays do not get as many views long term — which is expected — they always get the most engagement. And it’s that community aspect that’s the most important to me. The more vulnerable I am, the more viewers can relate to me. And I think learning to get out of “tutorial” only mode, which I thought was what my audience wanted, was important for me as a creator. I don’t know what they want unless I ask or experiment.

One thing you wish you knew before you started?

I wish I knew which gear I was actually going to use on a daily basis while filming for my particular niche. I did tons of research and got some gear I could afford. But I’ve ended up using my phone and a GoPro 8 with a shattered screen covered in clear tape more than any camera, stand, or light.I love cameras and videography, but the way I actually film for my channel and my aspirations of how I’d like to film for my channel didn’t — and still don’t — line up. But, no one cares if I use my GoPro 8 or a full camera set up. So I truly wish I had been more honest with myself (and my shy personality) when deciding where to invest my time and money.

In one to two sentences, what’s one piece of advice you’d give to aspiring creators or self-development nerds?

Master the rules so you can understand when and how to break them.

Would you rather have a time machine or a teleportation device?

Easy. Teleportation device so I could easily travel the world with my partner and travel across the US every weekend to skate with all my friends.

Written by Ashley Martin

Edited by Matt D'Avella & Kerstin Sheppard