Hey there —

Here we are. 30 days into the new year. 🗓️

And it’s happened again.Y

ou had a plan to consistently hit the gym, get to sleep before midnight, or write 500 words a day. And you stuck with it for one enthusiastic week. (Or maybe two or three — go you!).

But then…something happened.

You tumbled off the wagon, and now your 🍑 is bruised along with any remaining shred of momentum or confidence.

This flame-to-fizzle trajectory of our New Year’s resolutions is so common that the second Friday in January has been dubbed Quitter’s Day. But the story is often the same whether it begins on January 1st, or March 27th, or July 15th.

Yes, sometimes we have only our lack of self-control to blame, but there’s also an awful lot outside our control.

A freak snowstorm halts your gym routine, your toddler stops sleeping through the night, a looming work deadline overrides your passion project — none of these are failures; they're simply…life.

Still, it’s easy to look back at a string of unsuccessful attempts and wonder if the universe is telling us to just give up already.

So what can we do when we feel so defeated we’d rather set the wagon on fire than haul ourselves back on board? 🔥

Here are 5 tips to help you get back in the driver’s seat (and stay there, especially when things get bumpy!):

1. Change your mindset from “starting over” to hitting “resume.” Maybe you didn’t make it 30 days in a row for the month of January, but resuming your habit today means you can say you succeeded a total of 10 days this month. And that’s a win!

2. Determine why your attempts have failed. What if your struggle to get enough sleep is less about needing to go to bed earlier and more about cutting out that 3 p.m. cup of coffee? Identify the real root of why your habit attempt went bust, and your solutions are more likely to be helpful.

3. Make changes to increase your likelihood of success. If you want to spend less money eating out, avoid driving past your favorite takeout spot on the way home from work. Or maybe you need to adjust your daily word count goal from 500 to 250. You’re not “lowering the bar” — you’re setting smart, attainable targets so you can stay motivated and on track.

4. Value action over perfection.Studies have shown you’ll regret not taking action when you could have, much more than failing after you did take action. Don’t worry about executing your habit perfectly. Focus on simply doing something. A 10-minute YouTube yoga session at home when you can’t make it to the gym is better than skipping your activity goal altogether.

5. Don’t make failures personal. You didn’t fail because you’re a failure. Your attempt failed because you’re still figuring out the right strategy. Setbacks are a part of any process. The fact that you’re working toward improvement is something to be proud of.

If you didn’t get it quite right the first (or third or fifth) time, it’s not a sign you’re doomed to forever failure. But it can be a sign of growth as you learn from your mistakes (or let go of what you couldn’t control), make the necessary changes, and try again.

Celebrate what you did accomplish (even if it wasn’t all you’d hoped), take up the reins, and set your sights on the path ahead — one day at a time. 🤠

What you learn from eating alone

by Mari Andrew

In this charming and thoughtful essay, Mari Andrew asserts that “a personal pizza may seem sad, but it doesn’t have to be.” 🍕

Using an array of meals to illustrate the differences between “Sad Food” and “Solitude Food,” Andrew shows us that while loneliness is a real affliction, time to oneself can also be a celebrated luxury.

Read the article →

The one sentence that will make you a more effective speaker

by Brenda Barbosa

According to journalist, speaker, and coach Brenda Barbosa, having a big idea — “a powerful insight, perspective, or thought that serves as the backbone” — is the thing that separates a memorable talk from a mediocre one.

Whether you’re writing a speech, a presentation for school or work, or a script for your next YouTube video, Barbosa’s process for distilling your thoughts into a distinct takeaway might be just the thing to help you get your message across in a more powerful way. ✍️

Read the article →

Blackout Poetry Maker

by Emma Winston

Want to make something sweet for your Valentine or simply take a few minutes to tap into your inner poet? 🥰

Blackout Poetry Maker allows you to paste any text (or use one of the provided samples), then select your chosen words to create a custom poem. Once you’re done, simply click a button to save your masterpiece.

Here’s one we made just for you using a page from the classic novel, Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland.

Try it out →

Written by Ashley Martin

Edited by Matt D'Avella & Kerstin Sheppard