Life is a bucket full of crabs

Stop making crabby patties

January 10, 2022

Hey there —

A bucket full of crabs can teach you a lot about jealousy. Hear us out.

If you dump crabs in a bucket and one tries to escape, the other crabs will pull it back down into captivity. No one gets out, and all the crabs end up on a dinner plate soaked in garlic butter.

It’d be nice if everyone in our lives was a cheerleader, eager to support our wildest dreams. But we’re often surrounded by crabs – people who reach out to hold us back.

Because if they can’t have something, no one can.

This phenomenon, called "crab mentality," happens when people try to hide their own insecurities by holding others back from reaching their full potential. It’s also a byproduct of the zero-sum bias, the belief that someone else’s gain is your loss. (It’s not).

The result of this mindset is a toxic environment where everyone loses.

If you catch yourself sneering at others' accomplishments, chances are… you might be a crab 🦀. But you can nip this behavior in the bud by reframing jealousy.

It gets a bad rep, but jealousy can be more helpful than we give it credit for. You just have to listen closely to why you’re feeling the way you are.

When you get jealous of someone else’s success, it often means they’re doing something you wish you could do. It’s just that you’ve created imaginary “rules” about the way the world works (i.e. you should get a job, keep your head down, make as little noise as possible).

Instead of getting your claws out, start thinking about how you can lift other crabs up. Try to recognize that someone else's success is an indicator that you can achieve something similar in your own life.

And if you’re dealing with some "crabby" people in your life, here are a few things you can do to stop getting pinched:

Change your environment. As Jim Rohn said, “We are the average of the five people we spend the most time with.” Your circle of friends matters. Make them cheerleaders, not Debbie-downers (it helps if they can also keep it real and give you legit feedback).

Don’t take it personally. Crab mentality is a sign of someone else’s beliefs – ones often rooted in scarcity and competitiveness. It’s not about you.

Keep on goin’ on. Focus on your goals rather than criticism. We can choose what we pay attention to, so why not embrace the positive?

It’s not easy to climb out the bucket, but it’s worth it. Because once you do, there’s a whole ocean of possibilities out there. Too many puns? 🏖

The Nothingness of Money

Article | by Lawrence Yeo

When we’re near the end of our lives, our obsession with acquiring wealth dissipates. Lawrence Yeo calls this “The Nothingness of Money.”

But because many of us would rather not face our own mortality, money continues to guide most of our decisions. In this article, Yeo tries to find out how to live a good life without letting money hijack all our attention.

As Lawrence says,

"Ultimately, we can live our lives according to what will be written on our tombstones. And given that a dollar sign won’t be on it, it’s time we stop inscribing one onto our minds as well."

How to Newsletter

eBook | by Ann Handley

Ann Handley grew her newsletter, Total Anarchy, from 2K to 43K subscribers in the span of 3 years. That’s a 2,050% increase 🤯.

If only there was a guide where she told us how she got there, amiright?

Well, to celebrate 100 issues of Total Anarchy, Ann released a 14-page “Party PDF” to teach you how to newsletter. She dives into creating an engaged audience and reveals the best tips for her eight-hour newsletter writing process.

If “growing a newsletter” is on your to-do list this year, Ann’s guide is a must-read.

Plant Nanny

Tool

Here’s a riddle for you: What’s something important we forget to do all the time?

You guessed it – drink enough water. But not to fear, Plant Nanny is here. 🌱

This adorable app turns hydration into an interactive game where each glass of water you drink grows virtual plants. Making your own cute plant family and being well hydrated? Win-win if you ask us.

Written by Alice Lemée